TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL HARASSMENT RELATED TO POSITIONS OF POWER
Today’s subject is a little on the heavier side and needs to be read by both students and educators alike. I’ve been around this activity for a while now and this is something that has been going on for a very long that is only in the beginning stages of being addressed.
For some reason, the very topic of s3x is super taboo and anything related is cast out. There is a serious problem with instructors & educators developing a romantic interest in their students and actively pursing a relationship (romantic, sexual, or both) while still under their instruction. Even if both parties are of age, this can be a serious problem because:
- The student may feel pressured to reciprocate for fear of being singled out during rehearsal or cut completely even if uncomfortable (The power dynamic isn’t balanced)
- The student may not feel as if they can confide in a different staff member (fear of repercussions)
- Other staff members may think it’s wrong, but will remain silent for fear of employment termination and/or blacklisting
- This may lead to an abusive relationship and a toxic gaslighting culture
This is a topic that desperately needs to be talked about. So let’s talk.
Sexual Harassment Lives on a Spectrum
If you are uncomfortable with the advancements of someone in the activity, it’s harassment. Whether it’s a comment or something much more physical, you have every right to feel the way that you feel and to report it. Often times, we are told that “It’s not a big deal” or that “It’s just a joke”. And that brings us to…
Don’t Gaslight your Students or Peers (even unintentionally)
If someone comes to you in confidence and tells you something and you either
- Don’t believe them because “So and so isn’t like that”
- Say “So and so is just creepy”
- Say “That’s not that big of a deal”
- Say “It was just a joke”
OR ANY VARIATION THEREOF, that ain’t it sis. Someone trusted you enough to confide in you.
Stop discrediting their experience just because your experience with the attacker wasn’t abusive.
Not Every Victim Can (or even wants to) Come Forward Immediately
Acknowledging that you were attacked is not an easy thing to do. Talking about it is even harder. Sometimes, you don’t even realize what’s happening until much later! Just because a victim didn’t come forward immediately doesn’t mean it wasn’t traumatic or sexual harassment.
Check Your Own Behavior
Make sure that you’re being appropriate. Create a culture among staff and students that calls people out on questionable behavior without fear of consequences.
It’s not that hard to be a decent human being.
If You Are a Victim, You Are Not Alone.
Your experience is valid. If you want to talk about it, there is a whole community around you. If you don’t thats okay too. If you’re ready, I highly recommend speaking to a counselor, therapist, or licensed professional that has no immediate relation to you to help you through.
If you’re perpetuating this behavior, recognize it, see what’s wrong with it, and seek help. There is no shame in wanting to change. There are licensed professionals there to help you as well, and your currently personality is not fixed. People can change.
If you SEE this behavior, please don’t be silent. People need you.
We can all be better.
It’s about time that we make the marching arts as safe for everyone as we all say it is. It hasn’t always been the safest place for me, and I know I’m not alone. So let’s hold each other accountable (staff AND students), make sure our organizations don’t brush things under the rug (I’m looking at you WGI and DCI), and create the change we want to see.
We are the future or this activity, and it will go where we take it. We have power. Let’s use it.
