Self- Worth: confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect.
Colorguard requires a lot of hard work. It takes physical and mental strength, endurance, patience, responsibility, and determination to get thorough any season. It is a fantastic environment to learn life skills! However, something that I’ve seen time and time again (and have lived through) is that the perfectionist nature of a lot of performers can lead to self-destructive habits and poor mental health.
We see other people who are seemingly “perfect” at a skill and want to be as good as them. But when we fall short of that goal in the time period that we’ve allotted to achieve it, we tear ourselves apart! We convince ourselves that we are terrible performers, that we will never be as good as those people, and that we don’t deserve what we have (and if you don’t do this–good! Stay that way!).
This doesn’t just apply to colorguard. Whenever we fail at something, we have a strong tendency to equate that failure to who we are as people. Trust me, I’ve been there and trust–it’s not a good road to go down. Next time you begin to feel these thoughts and feeling creeping in, here are some steps you can take to do some damage control.
Acknowledge your thoughts and/or feelings.
Take a moment to acknowledge what’s going on. Notice I didn’t say to do anything. Don’t post a finsta, don’t engage in negative self-talk, don’t even practice. Just acknowledge what’s going on. Practice awareness and be in your feelings. If this means you need to cry, then cry. It’s okay.
Recognize that everyone learns and progresses at different rates.
We all go to different schools, have different coaches, have different personalities, have different preferences, march on different teams, and live different lives. The way that my brain processed how to do a drop spin is different than the way that Jessica’s brain processed it. Sally might get a 6 double turn sit roll catch in the hilt at port in 5 minutes and the same thing could take me 2 years. Sally’s life experiences are different than mine. Your differences don’t mean that you are any less talented or that you’ll never achieve that, you just learn and grow differently and at different rates. That’s okay.
Recognize that failure is not only inevitable, it’s good.
Every single time I’ve failed at something, I have learned and grown out of it. I know people say this all the time, BUT YOU WILL FAIL. READ THAT AGAIN. ACCEPT IT.
Your failures don’t define you. Allow yourself to detach from the harmful thought patterns that we tend to internalize when an event or circumstance doesn’t match our ideal definition of success. A good way to do this is to practice awareness and mindfulness–there are many ways to do this, and trust me, it will be a HUGE topic on this blog.
Fail. Take a break if you need to. Understand that you are still the same amazing human being that you were 5 minutes ago. If you feel so inclined, go ahead and try again. Repeat.
Be Patient with Yourself.
In a world that demands immediacy, learn the art of patience! You can’t possibly expect to be tossing solid 8 triple turn arounds with good technique on your second day of band camp because you saw a senior member do it. You will get where you want to go if you practice, ask questions, take responsibility for yourself, and take care of your health, but it’ll take time. Be patient.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others.
This could be a whole article in itself! In fact, it most definitely will be. I’m gonna say it loud enough for you to hear me.
STOP.
COMPARING.
YOURSELF.
As I mentioned earlier, we are all different. You are not another performer, so why are you trying to be them? Be the best version of YOU! If you need to unfollow some people (or at least mute them) on IG, do it. If you need to take a break from spending 24/7 with that senior who talks about how much they suck all the time, do it.
In no way am I saying that you can’t look up to someone. However, seeing people that you want to perform like should be a source of inspiration, not self loathing. If it isn’t, realize that and take some time to understand why that is.
Be proud of your friends!
There will be teammates that will achieve something faster than you. There will be teammates who are better at a piece of equipment than you. There will be friends who will seemingly get everything that you want before you do.
Be proud of them. It takes an incredible amount of maturity to support someone who has what you want, but do it. It’ll make others feel good, it’ll make you feel more at peace, and you could actually learn from them. Healthy relationships with yourself and others makes the experience way more fun. Trust me.
Have you been stuck in a cycle of attaching your self worth to where you are in colorguard land? Do you have any extra tips that have helped you navigate those feelings! Share them in the comments!
OOf as someone that started spinning in senior year and that has a lot of trouble learning things due to having learning disabilities/autism its hard not to compare myself to others because it takes me twice as long to learn a simple skill. But you know what? i’m getting there and i eventually learn what I need to wether its in the middle of the season or 5 years later I get it
Ah, love this! Yes you will! You’re on your own personal journey and the learning process is part of what makes every performer unique!